BREAKING NEWS!!

BUSH TAPS OSAMA BIN LADIN AS NEW HOMELAND SECURITY CHIEF

In order to prove that his choice of the United Arab Emirates to guard out nations naval port's was not a fluke, President Bush today announced that he has chosen Osama Bin Ladin as the United States new Homeland Security Chief. "He certainly knows a lot about terrorism, and has plenty of experience in this area." the President was quoted as saying. Bin Ladin at first turned down the job, prefering to stay hidden in his cave rather than working for the "evil, western, white devil," but changed his mind when he learned that the job included a full health care package, including dental.